I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is it because I queefed?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize