bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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