Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
