Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
