And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
