I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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