i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
