This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
