Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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