I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
