Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This couple is walking their pig around campus
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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