If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
