You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
are you so shy because you have an std?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
should my penis look like a turkey
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
