I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
