Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
