real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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