I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
