How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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