batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I feel great
I just peed on a car
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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