I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
