Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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