I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize