I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
