People in love make me want to vomit
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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