Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
