Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
