Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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