we made out on top of his cat.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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