Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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