You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
