i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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