Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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