I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize