break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize