Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Randomize
