Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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