hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
