I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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