I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
