in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
