I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
