I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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