"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
