Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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