i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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