We're like a lot better than the average bears
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize