I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We're too hungover to prance.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize