At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We need to rekindle our bromance
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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