she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
