She's JV to your varsity
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
there is glitter all over my balls
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