I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
