"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
After last night, I could never be a politician.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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