If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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