If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
