Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
