Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
