There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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