before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
