so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
