also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
