Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize