So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
