i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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